SUPERMARKET DRAMAS

Q: Supermarket shopping has become a nightmare for me. My two boys aged two and four are dynamite inside the supermarket. They start out fine but soon want to be out of the trolley and all over the place. I don’t’ like to make too many threats in public, but otherwise they don’t listen. Do you have any ideas? A: Psychologist Ruth Jillings replies It sounds like you and your sons have got into a negative cycle at the supermarket. The boys don’t like being cooped up in the trolley so they act out and you make threats and go quietly crazy. Sometimes the easiest solution to a problem is to eliminate the problem. Obviously you still have to eat, but it may be worth taking your sons out of the shopping equation for a while. You are not alone in dreading the trip to the supermarket. In fact, you may be able to use this to your advantage. Is there another mum who might be prepared to look after your boys while you do your shopping and you could reciprocate for her? Can you take advantage of late opening hours and get the groceries in peace while your partner or friend baby-sits when the boys are asleep? If you feel you have no option but to take the boys with you, then you need to be smart about the trip. Go early in the morning when you are all fresh and well fed and there are fewer people around. Give the boys clear and simple instructions about the kid of behavior you want. You might agree that you will let them out of the trolley as long as they stay near you and don’t touch anything. Have a list so that you can keep the trip as short as you can. It makes it more fun for your sons if they have some involvement. You may like to have a couple of “lists”: with pictures on and each boy can be in charge of reminding you about the things on their list. You could also consider getting each of them to help with (separate) simple choices. Finally, give the boys an incentive for good behavior. Let them know that there is a treat or trip to the swings if they behave well. Give yourself a reward too!