| Discovering you’re pregnant again can bring a whole lot of concerns along with delight. Here are 20 of our favorite tips for coping with the arrival of a second baby. 1. Prepare your firstborn for the new arrival while you are pregnant. Start by pointing out other families with babies, so your child sees it as normal. 2. Let your first child come to your visits with your midwife, feel the baby move, and look at the scan. If they feel part of the process, your child can get excited and be less resentful when the new baby arrives. 3. Tell your older child about how the baby will need help and might do silly things like cry a lot. It will help them feel slightly superior and, hopefully, tolerant of the needs of a new baby. 4. If your older child is moving out of his cot, does it well in advance of the new baby’s arrival? Consider putting the cot away for a few months. Once it reappears, your firstborn will have moved on from thinking about it as his bed. 5. Try to greet your firstborn on his first visit to you in hospital without the baby in your arms. This means you can cuddle him wholeheartedly, without asking him not to squash the baby. 6. To combat the feeling that the newborn is getting all the gifts, many parents organize a present for their firstborn from the new baby. 7. Don’t be surprised if your child rejects you when his sibling arrives. Continue to give him lots of attention. Just when he is being his least appealing is probably when he needs you most. 8. If your older child is resentful because you’re feeding the new baby and aren’t available for play, say “I know you wanted me to play now, but the thing about babies is they can’t wait for their food like big people. Soon the baby will be asleep and we can play.” Make sure you follow through. 9. Remember that older children can take time to adjust to the new baby. Don’t make them feel guilty about feeling jealous. 10. If your child regresses and wants the bottle or nappies again, just go with it. Wanting to be babied again is common and normal. 11. Praise your child for any nice thing he does for the baby. Tell visitors the best person with the baby is your child and they will soon start to feel this way. 12. If he can’t take many whole days off work, consider whether Dad could work reduced hours so that, in the first weeks, he can give the older child breakfast while Mum and baby sleep in and be home again in time for the feed-bath-bed routine. 13. Getting a routine running. It can help the older child feel more secure and that not everything in their life has changed. 14. It will give you an important break if you get into a pattern where both children have a sleep at the same time; for example, after lunch. 15. Being strict about evening bedtimes will leave you with some down at the end of the day. It’ll help preserve your sanity and patience with the children. 16. Keep mealtimes easy by having food that you can quickly throw together for a toddler’s dinner. Feeding your baby at the table while the older child eats can work well. 17. Aim for your baby to have a sleep around 18. A wheeled bassinet, hammock, swing or buggy that you can have near you in the kitchen can save running to and from the bedroom if your baby is crotchety. 19 If you’re worried about containing your older child while you breastfeed, consider putting a chair his bedroom so you can close the door and feed in there while he plays with his toys. 20. Remember that with a second child you’ll have the luxury of experience and less of the angst and worry. You have already survived sleep deprivation, and are probably used to less sleep and very little “I time”. |
Best books about preparing for a second baby:
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