| Homophobic dad Q: When my son was two he was playing happily with a doll. My husband got angry and told my son "boys don't play with dolls". Now my son is three and a half and wants to copy me by trying lipstick and nail polish. My husband is totally against this and says it will "make him gay". How can I handle the homophobic husband? A: Psychologist Glen Stenhouse replies: Firstly, is your husband a generally reasonable person? If he is, there's a chance you might be able to explain to him that being homosexual is not something you have any choice about. A child's gender and their future sexual orientation are decided by biological factors in the womb. A gay child is born that way, end of story. Aversion to gays is as irrational as hostility to people of different religions or ethnicity. Gays and lesbians are just like everybody else, except that they are attracted to and fall in love with people of the same gender. If he's not reasonable, and tends to be black-and-white in his beliefs, you're probably wasting your time. In regard to your son, although dressing up and playing with dolls is something that many boys do from time to time, if he shows a persistent and relatively strong interest in feminine play, this may be a pointer to his future sexual orientation. Having a relative on either side of the family who is homosexual also increases the chances that he may be gay. Knowing about this possibility - and I stress that it's only a possibility - early in your son's life will give you a chance to be prepared
for issues that will arise when he moves into adolescence. |
